Day: September 12, 2012
Romney Plans to Live in Large Uterus Instead of White House
Toledo, OH – Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney unveiled his plan to move himself and his family into a “uterus of suitable size and structure” if elected president. He made the announcement during a speech at a Toledo go-kart manufacturing…
Democrats Narrowly Avert Threat of Democracy
In a historic and unprecedented move, the Democratic Party asked the delegates at its 2012 national convention in Charlotte, North Carolina to use democratic procedures to approve a platform amendment. At the last minute, however, they avoided the whim of…
Rating Agencies Themselves Downgraded
Policy makers have agreed that financial rating agencies are to be reformed. In the expected announcement, the European Parliament said; “The Big Three, Moody’s, Finch and Standard and Poor’s, are now so far behind financial trends that we have no…
Exposé: Under the Table with the Romneys
The Ann Romney ironing board story unfolds with a new wrinkle. Photographs posted today by Households Without Housekeepers reveal the wall-unit ironing board reportedly used as the Romney dining table was in fact a Murphy bed. The labor activist organization…
New Course Offerings for the Idiot Generation
HIS1995 – Life Before the Internet This history course covers the dark period of mankind’s existence during the late 20th century, prior to the development of the World Wide Web. Students will learn about the primitive techniques utilized by early…
Bad News Guvna: Original ‘James Bond’ was American
THE BIRTH OF BOND, JIMMIE BOND Who was the first James Bond on film? Sean Connery? Yes, that is true if you go strictly by movie films. Could you believe that there was a television version of Ian Flemings Casino…