Month: July 2011
Palin Giving up Presidential Dream to Become Web Designer
Sarah Palin announced today that she will be giving up a life of politics in favor of pursuing her true passion. The decision comes shortly after J.K. Rowling announced her new website Potterworld. Many will remember that in 1997, a…
Joe Biden Takes on Fatherly Role at Debt Ceiling Talks
Vice President Joe Biden is using a unique approach when it comes to dealing with the petulant freshman Senators who aren’t budging an inch on the debt ceiling talks. Treating them like his sons, he has taken on a fatherly…
Santorum is Definitely ‘In It To Win It’
GMA NEW YORK —GlossyNews “We stood up and didn’t back away. We told everyone, ‘We’re In It to Win It,’ and we didn’t back down. Really, we didn’t back down,” former Senator Rick Santorum said. No one was standing next to…
Clarence Thomas attacked by zombie of Thurgood Marshall
A brutal attack on Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas Tuesday night has been traced to the zombie of Thurgood Marshall. The attack occurred following a news story revealing a possibly unethical relationship between Justice Thomas and real estate kingpin Harlan…
Palestine Claims Israel Has Gone Too Far
The public posturing of Israel and Palestine continued to escalate as pressure mounts for the long-time rivals to return to the negotiating table. Earlier last month in an address to a joint session of Congress, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu…
Senate Considers Replacing Part of Medicare Plan with Medical Marijuana Plan
While the debate in the Senate continues over whether to raise taxes on the rich, cut spending on Social Security and Medicare, or both, in order to deal with the debt ceiling crisis, there is one option on the table…
Casey Anthony Jurors Ask Judge if They Can ‘Take it Back’
ORLANDO, FL – In yet another shocking twist for a case that has gripped the nation, the 12 jurors who voted to acquit Casey Anthony of all murder charges in the death of her daughter Caylee, appear to be more…
Oceanic Airline to Charge for Existential Angst
Los Angeles – GlossyNews.com – Oceanic Airlines has announced plans to institute a surcharge ranging from $5.00 to $57.50 for passengers transporting books which exhibit existential angst, says company spokesperson Macine Galvertson. “In the future a hefty surcharge will be…
Joe Biden Smacked on Nose, Sent Back to Cage
Washington, DC – Vice President Joe Biden found himself in hot water Monday evening, after his latest verbal faux pas. While being interviewed by MSNBC’s Chris Matthews, Biden referred to House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA) as “a sawed-off, four-eyed…
Dominique Strauss-Kahn Claims Luck Helped in Choosing Perfect Victim
Dominique Strauss-Kahn smiled broadly for the cameras as he and his wife left a NY courtroom Friday after being told by a judge that he was being released on his own recognizance. The dark veil of accountability for his actions…