Month: April 2011
Trump Says Fukushima Disaster is Racist
Reality star Donald Trump had upped the crazy ante once again, doubling down on the quake/tsunami stricken Fukushima nuclear power plant, swearing that it is “probably a Muslim plot,” and adding that it is “likely the one place that had…
New Obama Program Pays You to Burn Down Your House
Asheville, North Carolina (GlossyNews) — The poop on politics from Norbert B. Snortwhistle. In his latest bid to pump up the economy before the 2012 election, President Obama introduced a new program, “Bucks for Burn Downs,” that will pay financially…
Why Gaddhafi Should be Made the US President
With all the problems we have in the U.S. today, it is truly astounding that a simple answer to them exists already and no one has thought of it. Simply make Muammar Gaddhafi the President of the U.S.! The logic…
Airline Bans Overly Tall Man from Flying the Friendly Skies
Afraid of another air disaster involving a hole in the top of the passenger cabin, a major airline carrier has recently banned an overly tall traveler from boarding one of its jets en route from Oregon to California. While the…
Mama Grizzly Prowls AOL w/ Mixed Success
NEW YORK, NY —Glossy News Dumpster diving in New York City the other day brought up this quite wrinkled but interesting tidbit – a résumé cover letter to: Top Mama Grizzly A. Huffington; cc: T. Armstrong — AOL From: First…
Tom Hanks Plays Bill O’Reilly in Upcoming Autobiography
In an upcoming autobiography by Bill O’Reilly in which he prefers not to play himself, O’Reilly has hired Tom Hanks to step in and portray the “love him or hate him” darling of Fox News Channel. “At first I thought,…
Obama OK’s Airstrikes On Libya- Republicans Scream Against It
“What? We’re going into an oil rich country and we’re NOT going to take it over? What is the point of that?
Idiot Satirist Forgets April Fools Day
Reports are just creeping in that an idiot of a satirist, who regularly plagues internet websites with a tide of absolute nonsense in the name of humour, forgot to post any gems of wit, wisdom, or deception on April Fools…
Nano-Chip Brain Implant Allows Users to Instantly Speak Foreign Language
The first-ever nano-chip language translators are rolling off the assembly line and into cosmetic surgeons’ offices quicker than you can say “Se Habla Espanol?” No longer will it be necessary for those wishing to learn a second or even third…
McCain To Run For President in 2044
Burning Candles, Arizona (GlossyNews) — The poop on politics from Norbert B. Snortwhistle. Former GOP presidential candidate John McCain will launch another bid for the White House in 2044, and is “firmly committed to running a vigorous, full-steam ahead” campaign.