Month: March 2011
Scott Walker Begs Koch Brothers to Release Him from Pact
While Scott Walker says he doesn’t want to compare his relationship with the Koch Brothers as being akin to selling your soul to the devil, seeing as he’s a devout Christian and all, his friends say he is feeling the…
Jon Cryer Moves in With Charlie Sheen
Newly divorced and jobless, Jon Cryer has rented a U-Haul and begun the process of moving in with Charlie Sheen and the goddesses. Asked if he wasn’t happily married just last week when we interviewed him, Cryer replied, “Well, yeah,…
How to Get AOL to Buy Your Blog for Millions
You may have heard the recent news about AOL purchasing Huffington Post for the sum of $315 million dollars. Will AOL buy your blog? Will AOL pay you a million dollars for your blog or website? Will AOL give you…
GlossyNews Honored, Insulted by Romanian Knock-Off
If imitation truly is the sincerest form of flattery, then this recently noticed Glossy News site in Romania means we’ve truly made it. If it doesn’t, however, Dracula owes me some blood, because I’ve been running this mare hard for…
Charlie Sheen Ring Tone Downloaded 3-Million Times
LOS ANGELES, CALIF – Charlie Sheen paraphernalia has exploded onto the American public since the actor’s Two and a Half Men firing and interview antics, featuring such memorable quotes as “I have tiger’s blood,” and “I’m an F-18, bro!” Now…
Local Man Finally Figures Out Where Libya Is
De Moines, IA – GlossyNews.com – Charles Pulowski was finally able to join co-workers in conversations about the political unrest in the middle east after examining a toy globe, belonging to his son, that was located in his living room…
Tea Party Rebukes Bachmann for Un-Christian Breaking Wind Incident
WASHINGTON DC — GlossyNews.com Minnesota GOPTea Bagger Rep. Michelle Bachmann broke wind yesterday in what was described as a home accident. She and her staff immediately flew to Washington DC where she announced the cancellation of her April appearances in…
Aspen: Where Cops are Men Except When Driving Their Hippie Cruisers
The Aspen, Colorado Police have it tough. Not that they have to deal with vicious inner city gangs, murderous Juarez drug cartels or mass Benghazi type protests. No. They have to deal with driving silver police cars with aspen leafs…
Obama’s Othello “Obamothello” Debuts in Lib Stronghold
Debuting next Saturday in the liberal bastion of hedonism known as San Francisco, this travesty on the English language, brought to you by deep-pocket interests from the left fringe, who somehow feel it’s acceptable to rewrite the great texts to…
Senator Jim DeMint, Calls to De-Fund PBS/NPR; Crazy or Just a Liar?
Jim DeMint, Crazy of Just Plain Full of Shizz? Recent addition to the Fair & Balanced FOX club, Wall Street Journal, has published an editorial by one of the most fair, most balanced senators in the history of America. Sure,…