Day: December 31, 2010
Jack and Diane Done: John Mellencamp Divorces
After 4 multi-platinum records, 6 platinum records, three gold records, and a string of four consecutive records that achieved no real status due to high amounts of sucking, John Mellencamp is ending his 20 years marriage, citing “it’s none of…
Chinese Ports Await Massive Christmas Cash Delivery
The Chinese ports of Shanghai and Shenzhen are preparing to unload dozens of giant freighters. The ships are filled to the brim with cash made from selling Americans millions of tons of cheap junk over the Christmas holidays. Fueled by…
Dwight Freeney Learning to Take the “Free” Out of His Name
Those who follow NFL apparently know who Dwight Freeney is, even if most of America, and the landlord on his recording studio, haven’t heard a peep from him. He’s being sued for $422,150 in back rent on the studio, a…
Willow Smith Knows Who Her Daddy Is, Better Have His Money
According to documents filed by Roc Nation, the Jay-Z owned record label of Willow Smith, the hip-hop tween isn’t an artist, which is something anyone who has heard her music would agree. So what is the daughter of Will Smith?…
Post Office Devises Uniquely Dastardly Ways to “Reduce” Staff
Post Offices across the U.S., faced with the necessity of laying off 40,000 employees, have come up with unique methods of accomplishing this goal. The administrators at the main distribution center in Denver, Colorado have set up a scam where…
2011 Tall Tale Congressional Cocktail
Just in time for New Years festivities, try to see if you can stomach this tasty treat from the hill. 1 Tea Bag with string 2-3 minutes of warm John of Orange tears 2 jiggers VS cognac 1 dash bitter…