Michele Bachman, Unaware of Y2k, Attacks Bill Clinton

CROOKSTON, Minnesota (GlossyNews) — The Republican Party, frequently criticized for being behind the times and completely devoid of new ideas, has taken yet another strategy from Newt Gingrich’s 1994 GOP Playbook. Michele Bachmann, one of the most prominent she-publican fundraisers, seems to have been advised to do as Reagan would have done, and attacked Bill Clinton in hopes that it will renew her place as the representative from Minnesota’s less-than-competitive 6th district. Read more Michele Bachman, Unaware of Y2k, Attacks Bill Clinton

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UK Govt Report: 9 Out of 10 Males Are Gay, or Plan to Be

BIRMINGHAM, United Kingdom (GlossyNews) — By all accounts Treavor Slaughter should be an a ladies man with girls rushing up to him every moment as he enters his first year in the university….But things are different today in the UK. Treavor has decided to enroll in the new George Michael’s School of Advanced Faggotry.

Today, this is not an isolated incident, and Treavor is not alone. In fact, the Labour Party enlisted the help of a renowned third-party research think-tank to examine the current state of male sexuality in the UK. The finds were startling and sobering….A full 90% of British males are gay or profess a desire to be gay in the near future! The other 10% live in Scotland! Read more UK Govt Report: 9 Out of 10 Males Are Gay, or Plan to Be

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Candidate with the Biggest Mouth or Most Bizarre Message Wins

In the run up to the this year’s mid-term elections we’ve seen some of the most bizarre behavior and comments coming out of the candidates, especially those who claim to be ordinary Americans wanting to take America back. Come time to vote, unfortunately, those people stand to win and win big.

It’s not because of any message of hope they bring to an America that is hobbling around on a bum economy, but more because of who they are, Read more Candidate with the Biggest Mouth or Most Bizarre Message Wins

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9-yr-old Klepto Arrested Again; Mom Blames Nintendo Wii

DES MOINES, Iowa – In a rather strange and disturbing case, a nine-year old boy was arrested on June 28, 2010 for stealing cigarettes from a local Wal-Mart. Although the boy is only nine years of age, he has had an extensive history of stealing beginning at the age of three.

This latest arrest is the fifty-fourth time that Stephen Hulk or “Stealin Stevie,” as his friends and family members refer to him, has been caught shoplifting in the past six years. Read more 9-yr-old Klepto Arrested Again; Mom Blames Nintendo Wii

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Recently Discovered Noah’s Ark Artifacts Destroyed in Quran Bonfire Mishap

MOUNT ARARAT, Turkey (GlossyNews) — In the close-knit evangelical archeological community, few can recall more dizzying heights and tragic lows in such a short time span. The Xinyou Qing Project (rough English translation, ‘We go find Ark now’) first grabbed headlines this year with discovery of the large Biblical ship on Mt. Ararat. Further excavations yielded the Ark of the Covenant, the Holy Grail, and the body of slain Teamsters leader Jimmy Hoffa. Read more Recently Discovered Noah’s Ark Artifacts Destroyed in Quran Bonfire Mishap

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How to be a FOX News ‘Spin Doctor’

SINGAPORE (GlossyNews) — Media experts have been observing a recent trend in how seemingly simple events are portrayed by our news sources. Radical interpretations of ordinary incidents in the lives of the famous seem to be going through major distortions. How we perceive events in our reality is colored by prejudices, opinions and attitudes that we already have present in our minds. Nowhere is this more evident than in the world of politics. Take an example from a day in the life of President Obama as seen by a normal person and as seen by the agents of FOX News: Read more How to be a FOX News ‘Spin Doctor’

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Telescope Reveals Remains of Alice Kramden on Lunar Surface

Houston, TX – GlossyNews.com – Scientists released information, along with a Top Secret report, about the discovery of human remains dressed in what appears to be a yellow house dress. The remains were spotted laying in the open on the surface of the Earth’s moon. The desiccated figure was discovered by the Hubble space telescope last March during a routine scan of the lunar surface.

First reports claimed the body was that of a middle-aged female. A routine inquiry with the Russian Federation’s space program chairman showed that their space program had all cosmonauts accounted for and the body wasn’t any of theirs. Read more Telescope Reveals Remains of Alice Kramden on Lunar Surface

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