Month: July 2010
More Letters from Summer Camp
Just like the little ones, summer camp exists for tweens too. Here is a sampling of a couple of letters the tweens have written home to earn their “composition” badges. Dear Kate (haha Mom), Thank you, thank you, thank you,…
Paris Hilton Reps Assure Latest Scandal “Totally Isn’t” About Cocaine
BEVERLY HILLS, California (GlossyNews) — Paris Hilton, A-list Hollywood actress and star of the the hit film One Night in Paris as well as box office disappointments Bottom’s Up and The Hottie and The Nottie, was involved in a scandalous,…
Lindsay Lohan Shopped for Toiletries & Cigs Anticipating Jail Stay
OS ANGELES, California – (Glossy News) – Lindsay Lohan was lucky she had the benefit of other celebrities’ experiences in jail to help prepare her for what to expect when she went into the slammer. Big names such as Lil’…
Man Collapsed on Sidewalk Ignored by Over 200 Facebook Friends
Harry Salimi, a 52 year old New York resident, was walking his dog in a busy thoroughfare on Wednesday morning, when a sudden dizzy spell and radiating pains from his right hand sent him sprawling to the ground in a…
Letters from Summer Camp
Glossy News, never too low to find new sources of information for you news hungry clowns, found the following letters in a number of trash cans throughout Beverly Hills: Hi Mommy, Greetings from Camp Wigwam. Did you know how dangris…
GOP Encourages Biden to Continue Speaking Publicly, Markets Plunge
In further evidence that the GOP is an enemy of the American people, gaffe-prone Biden was encouraged to continue speaking after a series of horrific and embarrassing introductory remarks Thursday at an NRAACPA meeting, leading to further verbal and financial…
You May Not Know Alvin Greene Now, But You Will
IIMANNING, South Carolina (Glossy News) – It’s been over a month since virtual unknown Alvin Greene from South Carolina became the Democratic candidate to run against incumbent Republican, Jim DeMint for a United States Senate seat in November. As some…
Obama Food Program Threatens Bush Weight Loss Policies
WASHINGTON, D.C (GlossyNews) — Americans are still too fat, but obesity rates in the United States appear to be slowing, according to newly released research. Government data show that 68 percent of U.S. adults are considered overweight, having a body…
Coast Guard Fights Huge Leak in SeaWorld Whale
ORLANDO, Florida (GlossyNews) — Wearied by weeks of fighting the horrendous Gulf oil spill, the U.S. Coast Guard mobilized today to battle a large leak from a giant whale in a SeaWorld theme park. “This is massive,” said Coast Guard…
Chicago’s Famous Wrigley Outsources Its Mints to Canada – The Horror
CHICAGOLAND, Illinois (GlossyNews) — The horror! The horror! This is a quote from Heart Of Darkness by Joseph Conrad, the short story that inspired the movie Apocalypse Now. It is also a quote on the tongues of many Chicagoans when…