Month: January 2010
Network Respectfully Declines George Clooney Telethon Offer
The tragic earthquake in Haiti not only shook Port-au-Prince, but also shook Hollywood this week. George Clooney’s star studded Hope for Haiti telethon is geared to simulcast across multiple major networks this Friday. The telethon is expected to generate millions…
Nick Jonas Dubbed Tiger Woods of the Disney Tween Scene
What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and Nick Jonas? Tiger Woods was married when he “dated” all those other girls. Nick Jonas on the other hand, is quickly approaching Woods as one of the most prolific daters on the Hollywood…
Shocking Evidence Of The Real Relationship Between Sherlock Holmes And His Aide Dr. Watson.
The long ongoing question of just what sort of ‘relationship’ there was between Sherlock Holmes and his ‘companion’ Dr. Watson has finally been found. The odd part of it is that the answer has been right in front of our…
Collectible Quarters Offered as 3rd World Nation Pay
Philadelphia, PA (GlossyNews): Officials from the United States Mint announced today the inception of a new commemorative quarter program based on the popular “50 States Quarter Collection.” The program, already expanded to include all United States’ sovereign territories, the Presidents…
Father/Son Bonding Often Causes Permanent Scarring
Testors and Testes. To this day, those words are interchangeably linked in my mind, and so, I was ill prepared for the terror they would again conjure when my son, who just turned eight years old, asked the inevitable question,…
Doomsday Clock Sold on eBay to Anonymous Bidder
CHICAGO, IL — Spendrift T. Hwart, science historian for the Doomsday Clock group, the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, held a press conference today to announce that it would move the hands of the clock from five to six minutes…
Thurmond Tried to Swap MLK Day for Stonewall Jackson Day
Legendary confederate statesman Strom Thurmond one time tried to trade away a holiday to celebrate the life of Civil Rights leader Dr. Martin Luther King Jr in exchange for a national day honoring Confederate General Thomas “Stonewall” Jackson, who was…
Miley Cyrus Racing to Ditch Hannah Montana Franchise Pre-Scandal
All over the world, teens and tweens alike are clutching their Hannah Montana throw pillows and sobbing uncontrollably that their favorite television personality, Hannah Montana, is gearing up to shoot the last season of the Hannah Montana show. According to…
Virulent Rabies Outbreak At Fox News
A virulent outbreak of rabies was reported today at Fox News Headquarters. The horrible madness inducing disease appears to have spread through the top hosts of the station, then been transmitted to station employees and, strangely, even to their listeners….
Al Gore Claims Credit for Inventing the Toilet Cam
BOSTON, Mass. – Former vice president Al Gore will tell the American Library Association’s (ALA) midwinter meeting here this weekend that he invented the toilet cam. In a draft copy of the vice president’s address that was leaked to Glossy…