Month: December 2009
How a Magical God Experience Transforms People
(People seem very interested in the Question of God… So here’s another paper on God and Mysticism and Human Progression…) ‘Characteristics and experiences perceived during the mystical state have been examined in many scientific studies, the majority falling into the…
New Construction Soars as Contractors Build without Buyers
Houston (GlossyNews Exclusive) — Housing starts all over the country have soared in the last two weeks as general contractors near you went back to work building with a vengance. Only problem is — there are no buyers. Already over…
Google Announces New Motto: “Be Less Evil Than Microsoft”
Since clinging to the original motto of “Don’t Be Evil” proved too great a burden in the emerging web economy, the more realistic slogan of “Be Less Evil than Microsoft” seemed a better fit, and an effortless goalpost to hit,…
Granny Grapples with Grocery Superpower
A 95-year old Grandmother has answered the clarion of moral conscience’s call and is spearheading the campaign against a proposed supermarket being built atop the listed buildings of a historic English market town. Fellatia Skank spit the proverbial dummy when…
Was Jesus a British Citizen?
If one is to believe the latest Gospel being proclaimed from on high by Scottish academic and archaeologist Reverend ‘Gorbals Jack’ McTwattie, Jesus Christ came to Britain to further his education and help out his old pikey Uncle – Joseph…
Oral Roberts Moves to Heaven in 3-Way Yankees/Phillies Trade
Tulsa — Granville Oral Roberts was traded to heaven in a reported three-way deal with the New York Yankees and the Philadelphia Phillies, one of whom reportedly stated after the World Series, “I’d sell my soul to play for the…
Lieberman Scuttles Healthcare In Retaliation to “Droopy Dog” Jokes
The good news is that no more 5% of earth’s citizens will have to suffer due to his petty, soulless, baby-killing, neo-partisan politicking.
How Speidi Makes Us Question the Value of Human Life
It happened the other day as I was browsing in Barnes & Noble. I looked to the left and encountered a startling image, pictured here. First of all, you will realize that the book had to be faced out in…
Virgin Galactic Hijacked By Cylon Robots
The worlds first space vehicle designed to allow passengers to experience space travel and weightlessness was hijacked today by robotic Cylons demanding that they be flown to somewhere called the “12 Colonies”. The Virgin Galactic was just preparing for takeoff…
Big Brother Targets Kindergarten Radicals
The UK’s Big Brother think tanks at Chatham House and the Tavistock Institute have now – in their superior wisdom – ordained nursery-age children should be monitored for signs of Pavlovian brainwashing by Islamist extremists – according to a leaked…