Day: December 27, 2009
Ask Hank – Pre-Natal Lawsuit Threatened by Unborn Child
Dear Hank, I’m seven months old (that’s from conception) and due in late January. Recently, I heard my parents talking about what they were going to name me: Siegfried. Hank, I can’t go through life with that moniker. Recently I…
DOT Approves Asshole Lane For Nation’s Freeways
American drivers nationwide gave a collective cuss of relief when the US Department of Transportation announced its approval for a building project that would add designated asshole lanes to all the nation’s freeways by 2010.
Alaskan Villagers Purposely ‘Being Bad’ To Get Coal From Santa
Point Barrow, AK (GlossyNews) — Residents of the Arctic town of Sealgut Alaska have resorted to extreme means to get their heating fuel supplies for this winter. Faced by two months of near total darkness and bone-chilling cold with little…
Psychic to the Stars Makes 2010 Predictions
Chrystal Ball, self-proclaimed Psychic to the Stars has just released her predictions for the upcoming year in the entertainment industry. “Keep this list handy,” cooed Chrystal, “because you are going to have shivers running up and down your body when…