Day: September 20, 2009
Top Dog US General: Afghan War is FUBAR
The commanding US general in Afghanistan has called for a revised military strategy, suggesting the current one is totally Fubar. In a top secret strategic assessment sent to the US Central Command – endorsed with a bright red “Eyes Only…
Triple-Negative Grocer Doesn’t Not Have No Bananas
It’s true, or allegedly so. We’ve had trouble verifying the story for semantic as much as practical reasons.
Obama May Target World Unemployment
National Enquirer – Part 3 of John’s Smith’s report of his time on Martha’s Vineyard posing as a landscaper at President Obama’s compound. Before he was discovered and removed by Secret Service agents, Smith managed to tape several strategy meetings Obama conducted with advisors. In the following transcript, the President leads a brainstorming session on correcting the nation’s dismal employment situation:
Ask Hank: My Wife Has Been Bugging Me…
Dear Hank, My wife has been bugging me for months now to clean out the garage and I’m sick of hearing her naggin’. Why, just the other day, she threatened that if I didn’t haul all that junk away this…
Genetic Engineering Goes Bananas, Boosts Chimp IQ’s
UK police and Interpol are hot on the trail of a troop of thirty-plus chimpanzees that escaped from their enclosure at Chester Zoo in Cheshire this weekend, forcing visitors to flee in terror.
Dan Rather: CBS Spiked Biden “60 Minutes” Interview
Former CBS Anchor Dan Rather charged today that the network recently spiked a “60 Minutes” interview with Vice President Joe Biden under pressure from the White House. “I heard that Rahm Emanuel previewed the tape and found Biden harder to…