Posted in Celebrity Gossip Crime

Culkin So High, Didn’t Know He Was in Oklahoma

Macaulay Culkin, long the idol of Jacksonian worship, has reached new highs in his career and physiology this week with his drug arrest in, of all places, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Culkin made no comment about his star-turned-felon status which put…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Culkin So High, Didn’t Know He Was in Oklahoma
Posted in Health Strange People

Head Allegedly Weighs “Like 500 Pounds”

Don’t think I don’t see all you proud people walking around with your gigantic melons held high. It bugs me like a plague of locusts because I’m proud too, but my pigeon-bobby noggin weighs more than the sun and the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Head Allegedly Weighs “Like 500 Pounds”
Posted in Entertainment Environment Strange People Travel

Documentary 2,000 Miles to Maine Fails to Suck

I regularly accept requests to review films and do so with boisterous glee. Hollywood is afraid of my brutal honesty but, once out of the “Golden State” of California the fear dissipates and my poignant slams are more graciously accepted….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Documentary 2,000 Miles to Maine Fails to Suck
Posted in Biz News World News

Coca-Cola Deploys 5,000 Troops to Somalia

Coca-Cola was forced to withdraw their 8,000 peacekeeping troops from Somalia when war broke out in 1989. The civil scene has since subsided and civilians, long thirsty for caffeinated cola, seem eager to embrace the armed forces being provided by…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Coca-Cola Deploys 5,000 Troops to Somalia
Posted in Health Human Interest

Tattoo Fails to be Even Remotely Sexy

Jerri-Anne Thomas is a newly divorced, middle-aged, portly housewife who has been working hard to express the hunger of her acute onset mid-life crisis. When her sexually liberated spinster friend got a new tattoo hailed as sexy by a variety…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Tattoo Fails to be Even Remotely Sexy
Posted in Top Stories

Heelys; Sole Wears Thin, Novelty Don’t

After three solid years of near daily use, my faithful novelty shoes, bought on a whim, must now be unfortunately retired. And why? What an insult to modern value that shoes eventually wear out. When I first bought them, I…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Heelys; Sole Wears Thin, Novelty Don’t
Posted in Human Interest Top Stories Travel

Heelys; Sole Wears Thin, Novelty Don’t

After three solid years of near daily use, my faithful novelty shoes, bought on a whim, must now be unfortunately retired. And why? What an insult to modern value that shoes eventually wear out. When I first bought them, I…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Heelys; Sole Wears Thin, Novelty Don’t
Posted in Environment Human Interest

Brewing Up Candied Malt Liquor; 211 Skeel Reserve

-God no, what on earth was I thinking? I feel like a Lucy tripper who has just realized he triple-dosed. Alas, I will (or may,) prevail. 211 is best served very, very cold. So cold in fact that one could…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Brewing Up Candied Malt Liquor; 211 Skeel Reserve